December 27th Musings

I was recently gifted a new oracle deck for Christmas, the Rumi Oracle by Alana Fairchild. The energy when holding the deck immediately told me it had things to say and that I needed to listen. After becoming acquainted with each card, I pulled one for the day asking what lessons it had for me. The card I pulled was the Dance of the Divine Feminine.

If a tree could move
from one place to another,
it would not suffer the pain of the saw
or the oppressive wounds.

If the Sun and the Moon
stood still like the rocks,
they could not offer brilliance.

How bitter the taste of water would be,
if the river stopped its flow
remaining still like seawater.

When the seawater rises
to become a cloud,
it loses its bitterness
and pours the rain of sweetness.

I have given you only a few examples.
You can figure out the rest.
Break away from the self
and enter the Kingdom of Love

This message could not be more appropriate for what is going on in my life but also for the astro weather brewing. Neptune is making some major aspects, asking us to delve into the divine, while Saturn holds one of Venus’s hands and the Sun holds the other. She’s moving away from the restriction of Saturn and into the creative arms of the Sun. Neptune is forcing Mars to take a deeper look before he hits Jupiter and expands his energies outward. Neptune wants Mars to use his energy in a healing way, bringing in Mercury to help connect everything together.
The moon is dancing, though briefly, through it all, twirling with Uranus and showing her deepest individualistic expression. Her eyes are closed and she doesn’t care if anyone is watching- she just wants to feel the energy in the air as Uranus fills her with electricity.

This card is telling us to take control of our lives. Don’t be afraid to make some changes; Saturn might make us feel like our energies are stifled but he really wants us to let go of what isn’t serving us. He’s highlighting areas we feel inadequate about and telling us to hone in on them, work on them, and gain back our confidence. We often stay stagnant because of fear- we don’t know enough, we aren’t strong enough, people will laugh at us, we can’t succeed. Saturn is telling us to stop the self-defeating talk, follow our dreams and ignite our desires instead of hiding behind fear. Everyone does this in a different way- my way is finding the divine feminine inside myself and allowing her to break free of the restrictions I’ve held her under for too long. If the water around you tastes bitter, shake things up- allow fresh water to flow through.

Those Stars


Everything is put in perfect order. You are made up of the energies your stars hold for a reason. Whenever I feel discouraged, I think- how lucky we are to have a universe that loves us so much to create beautiful balls of light to help guide us back home. Back to that very light we study each day, observe each night. A kaleidoscope of energy all melding together and connecting with each other offering us an infinite variety of experience. Each and everyone one of you is immensely special. Every minute of each day is unique and ready to be seized! So seize the variety, revel in the constant flow and grab your inspiration as it floats by. And eventually, you will find it in yourself. And all you have to do is take it out of your chest and throw it up into the air and you are a creator! The creator of your own reality. The true divine being you always have been.

12th house Cusp


Whichever sign is on the cusp of your 12th house will give you a general idea of how you face the energy of this house. 12th house energy is associated with Pisces and Neptune. It is foggy, uncertain, spiritual, deep, introspective, secretive, confusing, chaotic. It rules the collective unconscious, mental disorders, things unseen, hidden information, and mysticism.

Sign on the cusp of the 12th house-

Leo- The search for enlightenment is highly individualized and creative for you. You may feel that art or creating is what keeps you in tune with the spirit. Being recognized for your efforts is important to you, but you also want others to be recognized for their efforts. Sharing your experience can make this the best of both worlds. Helping others help themselves. You must focus on taming your ego to reap the benefits of the 12th house.

Sagittarius- Your spiritual journey is far reaching and experimental. You enjoy gaining as many new experiences as you can in different types of spirituality in order to see what works for you. You make your own truth. Getting out there and exploring is your best bet in discovering that truth. You’ll be a life long learner and will encourage others to do the same. You feel most energized when you ride the waves of consciousness. You must be willing and open to new ideas in order to reap the benefits of the 12th house.

Aries- You are quick to judge or accept spiritual ideas and must learn to feel your way through them rather than jump into things. You may find yourself finding a path and rushing to change your life around it before you even realize what’s going on. If you are already on a path, you are childlike in your awe of the universe and can easily find the positive in situations. To gain the benefits of the 12th, take time to relax and feel through things without writing them off so quickly.

Virgo- Realistic results are what you aim for and you may ignore spirituality if it isn’t giving you what you want fast enough. You will look into things with great detail whether you admit it to others or not. If you are on a spiritual journey, you will follow all the rules and do everything by the book. Release your 12th house potential by letting your mind and research take a break, and trust your intuition instead.

Taurus- You can feel the beauty in the world but may not be able to see it. You are connected with the earth spiritually and nature will boost your optimism. You are stubborn when trying to change your mind and don’t know how to trust your intuition without stubbornly clinging to already decided upon ideas. The 12th house can be activated by exploring things you may not see as true, just for the sake of exploring them and releasing yourself from the material to see where your true values are.

Capricorn- You may ignore spiritual quests and see them as a waste of time. But deep down, when you take time to explore yourself, you can feel something more than all the physical things around you. When you take your spirituality seriously, you will be the leader that makes ideas into reality. You are the water-goat, essentially, you can swim the depths of Pisces and come back up onto the land to explain and share what you have seen. 12th house potential will be unlocked through opening yourself up to it, to put it simply.

Scorpio- The spiritual quest is not all butterflies and dandelions for you. You can see the dark and light and know that the integration is what it’s truly all about. You are possibly psychic (especially with planets here) and highly intuitive in spiritual matters and can sense right and wrong. Your spiritual journey is intense and transforming. Those who don’t open themselves up to this may fear spirituality and try to ignore it but it will always be lurking in the back of their minds. Unlock your potential by seeking compassion and linking it with duality. The 12th house will continuously give you new things to learn, so embrace them with a positive attitude.

Pisces- Neptune is at home here. There is magic in every day life for you if you know where to look- and you probably do. You have psychic powers (especially with a planet here) and can trust your gut to guide you. Riding the waves is easy for you but it’s easy to get lost or bogged down in escapism. To unlock your 12th house potential give yourself healthy boundaries and goals when you feel to ‘off the tracks’ and share with others what you’re thinking rather than keeping it to yourself. You are a teacher of the truest compassion there is. Use this gift!

Cancer- Nurturing others is your main goal toward spirituality. You can sense others’ emotions and feelings and see where it comes from, making you a very valuable healer. You were meant for energy work or counseling. The spiritual journey is a personal one and you put a lot of emotion into it. You can feel emotionally overwhelmed oftentimes, but this can be in a good way. Unlock your 12th house potential by learning how to harness your emotions and turn them into something productive in order to help others and yourself.

Gemini- The amount of information out there can be highly overwhelming and you may just put spiritual matters on the back burner if it gets too much. Or you could simply learn everything there is to know but not take it quite seriously or not know how to live it. When learning how to balance the information and picking out what rings true to you and what works for you, you can be a storehouse for information. To truly get your potential out of the 12th house, practice what you preach and don’t overdo the amount of information you’re letting in. Baby steps!

Libra- When on a path, you want nothing more than to share that path with others. Finding a teacher or mentor is important for you. Finding students is also important. You want to connect with others and can do this through your spiritual path especially using energy and mediation. If something doesn’t help you and another get closer or share an experience, it doesn’t fit into your ideal of a spiritual practice. You’d be perfect for meditation groups or yoga retreats. To unlock 12th house potential, learn how to walk by yourself and then when you have, invite others to join you.

Aquarius- The humanitarian! You are truly a visionary. You are idealistic but realistic and therefor can get things done. You understand how powerful the mind is and how everyone and everything connects together in perfect harmony. You desire to help others rise above emotional turmoil. Your personal quest is aimed toward global change and you will not rest until everyone knows the truth. This can also take a wrong turn toward arrogance or believing you are better than others if you cannot get the change you wish to see. The 12th house is about compassion, so use your goodwill toward men and link it with true emotional compassion in order to gain benefits from this house.

Dream Time & Dreaming


This article is about the inspiration that an Indigenous lady imparted to me. A few months ago I wished to have friend that had integrity, someone that I could learn from, someone whom understood the ‘Dreamtime’, ‘Dreaming’. Firstly, in the lore of the Original People of Australia there is no such thing as time. So we are speaking here about a timeless state, so we call it ‘Dreaming’ (with no time). I realised that I dreamed her into my life. This is what she taught me.

She mentioned to me that you can have bad ‘Dreaming’. I had never considered bad ‘Dreaming’ before because I’d had an experience of the ‘Dreaming’ which I felt was from the Divine World where all creation arose. In that Divine space I experienced things that were in a state of frequency only. Everything was there from the microcosm to the macrocosm but all as One. Each thing was connected to each other and had a certain frequency and light that made it what it was e.g. A plant, person, animal, planet etc. Each thing knew the meaning of the other and its purpose and none was greater than the other. I realised that this was part of the sublime ‘Dreaming’.

After our conversation I began to reflect on ‘Dreaming’. I realised that our thoughts create our future. The ‘Dreaming’ is not a state to attain by any means as we’ve already created it. It’s a state of waking and walking in the world we created when we are ‘Dreaming’ (thinking and emotions). ‘Dreaming’ consists of our emotional and thought substance. Everybody has thoughts and that is the state of ‘Dreaming’. In our everyday life our thoughts are shaping our life. Negative thoughts create chaotic circumstances, illness, disease, accidents, arguments and disharmony in our life as we the ‘Dreamer’ are ‘Dreaming’ it. On the contrary beautiful thoughts created by the ‘Dreamer’ have another effect. The ‘Dreamer’ is no different to the Creator whose qualities imbue harmony, beauty and the exquisite intelligence that permeates our inner universe and our outer universe. When our thoughts and being are aligned to the Creators we experience synchronicity, our dreams are fulfilled in our life joyfully, our circumstances unfold magically, smoothly and simply, enhanced in a way that we could never have imagined initially.

There are many variations to ‘Dreaming’, there is conscious waking dreaming in our physical body which is all the above and sleeping dreaming when we go to bed at night. We can programme our dreams at night and go astral travelling, fulfilling another part of our non physical body.

As we refine ourselves and learn to take responsibility for our thoughts and life we are given an opportunity to look deeper within the underlying principals of our universe. There is a natural intelligence to the universe, things grow, die and then there’s a rebirth cycle. Our thoughts are like seeds, the same as the Creators.

We have within our physical and subtle bodies all the ingredients to create. We have all five senses which are related to the elements, Earth, Water, Fire, Air and Ether. These elements do become more refined in us. Earth is akin to the sense of smell, for example the sweet scent of earth or soil, at its most refined a person would have the sweetest of scents known as the Odour of the Saints. Water is akin to taste, the more refined a person is, they are said to have good taste. Fire is akin to light and sight, at its finest fire in a refined person would reveal a visionary. Air is akin to hearing, the refined person would be able to hear and listen to the Music of the Spheres. With refinement comes purity and innocence, a childlike quality that exudes joy and the wonder of dis-covary, uncovering what’s beyond the physical senses and elevating us beyond our belief system and conditioning to unlimited possibilities.

We can use the element of Water for instance to call the rain. We can influence matter in a positive or negative way. It is clear that a person of refinement can perform miracles, when a miracle is performed it transforms some unenlightened part and there’s perfection in the outcome, all in accordance to the Divine Blueprint or ‘Dream’.

There is a childlike state yet mature state that allows things to flow, to be, to know anything is possible, knowing no boundaries, or better expressed, to use our imagination, image-in-ation (image in action). It’s about seeing under the surface of things, the lay lines, portals, orbs and the faces in the clouds or in the wooden floors. To imagine what it is like to be inside a flower, how sweet its scent would be, how soft its petals would feel against our skin, to hear the sound of insects footsteps or to see the vivid colours of the etheric and astral worlds. To reach our potential, we need to be diligent in watching our thoughts and emotions, trusting our intuition and Ourselves. After all we are planting seeds as ‘Dreamers’, ‘Dreaming’ our world into creation as the Creator does.

We are interweaving our ‘Dreaming’ with other people. We have all noticed how Primary School and Secondary School friends usually fall away when we have grown. We’ve out grown them. Our frequency has changed, thereby those friends are not in our life or ‘Dreaming’ any more.

I’ve spoken to an Indigenous man about my past life with my husband. I mentioned how we were prominent scientists who worked together on a significant project. My husband looks very similar to who he was in the past, he has all the attributes and knowledge from that time. For myself, I carry the scientific knowledge and the grief from the same time. My husband and I were born when these men were still alive. The unusual thing is that our past lives overlap our life now. The Indigenous man said to me, “Those men ‘Dreamed’ you into existence because they wished they were somebody else.” Well, that’s something to consider and as I was reflecting on it I remembered that several years ago I recalled a past life. I saw myself as a woman in another life, as I watch her, she turned and looked me right in the eye. I gasped! I saw myself in my past life while my past life was seeing myself in the future life. Maybe she ‘Dreamed’ me into existence, it appears that those lives are running concurrently along with the multiples of myself that I have seen on different dimensions and time lines.

The words from a lovely song play in my ears wishing you ‘Sweet Dreams Till Sunbeams Find You’.

This article was written by the beautiful Judith Kaylara! The original article can be found here. Her words are absolutely inspiring to me and I hope you find the same.

Big Sur Nights

This is a story by a wonderful soul that has touched many hearts. Though he is now lost in anonymity and has vanished into the ether, his words are still here. I wanted to share them on this blog since the story gave me hope. It gave me hope for love, expansion, and true human connection free of the walls one puts up. I felt a part of my soul reach out in quiet desperation, aching to be recognized. This simple story is touching, deep, and raw. Enjoy.

“I have written before of my first love.  The girl who danced in the rain. The girl who breezed in and out of my life but would not be caged. The girl I wanted more than I ever wanted anything yet was always beyond my reach.  The girl who broke my heart time and time again but with whom I was ever in love.

I was in my last year of college and had already been accepted into law school. I was a fairly conservative, button down and sweater kind of a guy who drove a sensible car and lived alone.  I had not seen nor heard from her in three years. Out of the blue I get a phone call. It is her. Her voice was like the tinkling of bells and in an instant I was under her spell yet again.  She told me that she was living in the Artists Colony in Big Sur and that something wonderful was happening there and she wanted me to be a part of it. She said come, come now and bring your poems. I made some arrangements  hopped into my Toyota Corolla and headed north up the 101. I was never a very spontaneous kind of guy except when it came to her.

I arrived at the colony just about sunset. There was no place to park.  Nobody owned a car. So I had to park about half a mile away and walk to the little forested enclave. She met me wearing a Sari and she looked heavenly. I grabbed her, spun her around and started kissing her. My heart rushed with joy.  Just then a strapping, handsome young man, with shoulder length hair, a beard with his hair, hands and clothes covered in marble dust came into the room. He was smiling at us.  She looked at him and put her arm around him and introduced him as Matthew Lucas, her lover. My heart dropped out of my chest and rolled in the dust. He brushed his hands off and, instead of shaking my hand, hugged me and bid me welcome. Hugged me. My God, what was going on here?

This man was so handsome, so powerfully built yet so gentle and kind, you could see it in his eyes, that despite everything I knew I was going to like him.  He said, come in come in, I have been waiting to meet you.  He showed me what he was working on.  It was a marble sculpture of a pair of eyes. These eyes were soft and kind yet were made of stone. I sat, and she sat on my lap and laughed and kissed me and not a sisterly kiss but a full and lingering kiss.  Matt just beamed at us with joy. I wanted to be jealous.  I wanted to be mad. I wanted to hate him. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

I was invited to share their bed that night.  I politely declined and slept in my down mummy bag in the studio under the watchful marble eyes. I was confused and my mind was spinning. I thought about leaving in the night and driving home and forgetting this whole strange trip. Matt it turns out was one of the heirs to the Proctor and Gamble fortune.  Yet, he took no money.  He worked carpentry to support his art. His eyes, were the eyes of his sculpture, pure, kind and gentle and without a trace of jealousy or pride.

The next day I was introduced around to the community.  What a group. Old hippies, young hippies. Retired doctors and Zen teachers. Writers, poets, painters and sculptors, musicians, madmen and seers. Young, old, some famous some that had just wandered in and stayed. It was an amazing mix of talent. I was introduced as a poet. Immediately, a call went out with a single voice that said: read! read! I pulled out my journal and recited a poem called “Lost in Jerusalem”. As I read some listened eyes closed, one kid played an African drum along with the cadence of the poem. When I finished I knew I had been accepted. The next day, my Khakis and Oxford shirt were taken to be washed and I was given a pair of royal blue loose fitting baggy Indian cotton pants and a blue and gold Dashiki to wear. She handed them to me and said “your colors my love”. I never got my old clothes back.

That night we gathered at the fire pit and one of the madmen, a shaman of sorts, with wild hair and blazing eyes opened a wicker basket.  In the basket were mushrooms. A blessing was said and they began to chant.  It was this weird Dionysian chant, wild and rhythmic. Hypnotic. Primal. Then as a sacrament each person there took a measured amount of the mushroom. My uncaged bird said “you don’t have to you know. Nobody will care if you pass”.  I had been afraid but seeing her calmness and Matt’s smile I regained my courage and took my share.  The wild eyed shaman gazed at me with a quizzical and somewhat bemused look and nodded his head.

The night became a blur.  I remember dancing. I remember singing.  I remember crying. The stars were out and the moon was out and very bright. Brighter than ever I saw it before. Time stood still and then went backward.  I felt a part of an ancient rite. The night passed in a wonderful kaleidoscopic blur of experience. Colors, dancing colors, clear colors, like the clear colors of a glass marble only I was in the marble and the color was all around me. Blues mostly, greens, pulsing red and then violet. Chakra colors. Aura colors.  My lovely bird smiling at me.  Then the pulsing red began again and she began to dance in front of me. Pulsing. Her hips moving with the pulse of the light. She gazed at me with red lust and desire. I heard Matt call to us and saw him climbing a rope ladder. The ladder led to a tree house which overlooked the vast Pacific lit by this amazing full moon and the red, the pulsing. We followed she and I and we collapsed on the cushion. Red, red, red, the Muladhara Chakra pulsing in lust, pure animal desire. Then we, my love and I, were naked and she and I made love, violent love like the love of lions and then fell back exhausted. The last thing I saw was Matt, leaning on the wall of the tree house, smiling, smoking a long white clay pipe. He lifted a finger and I fell unconscious and slept.”

☯ Samsaran ☯

“Ascend above a…

“Ascend above any height, descend further than any depth; receive all sensory impressions of the created: water, fire, dryness and wetness. Think that you are present everywhere: in the sea, on earth and in heaven; think that you were never born and that you are still in the embryonic state: young and old, dead and in the hereafter. Understand everything at the same time: time, place, things: quality and quantity. ” -Corpus Hermeticum, 1460

Lovely, ancient wisdom.

Wash It Away

“We are part of something special. It’s a crack in time-a wrinkle. Fallen from the nest, young eagle. I will pull my feathers out, stay humble. Uncle Mana taught us like an elder, took asunder older brother, he said this is powerful country, we felt like we were returning to our land rebels, and the shepherds in the sea. Takers are taking what the leavers will leave so grieve me the black prince cicada- such a loud voice for a tiny creature. Teach me to let go of all of my pain. I do forgive, I don’t forget these things.

We burn the bluegum for a safe passageway, drink of the earth, smoke of the dirt and my warpaint was red ochre clay. Our prayers igniting, cast out into the shire, and the song of our struggle came straight from the fire. It goes:

Holy, holy grandmother, we sing! Wash us clean of our pain and suffering. Give us strength for our new beginnings. From my deepest grace I sing- wash away, it will wash away.

In my dreams a whirling aboriginal man gave me your hat and your past in one hand. He said, you’ve come to be with rainbow serpent, red hands, red land, red worship- just then I heard bush mama crying in the chasms for the stolen generation and the children who haven’t come home, come home stay home.

My bullets are my words and my words are my weapons, so chain me to the pipeline for our rivers and mountains we sing!

Today’s a good day for my ego to die. Spirit live on in my heart, in my body, my mind. Then sister crow came with the murder that day, so he tattooed the bird nation onto our faces. She said we sing to let go of all of our pain. We dance the story to remember when things changed

We danced the ghost dance in two separate countries to this old song so familiar to memory. The road will teach you how to love and let go. It can be lonely but it’s the only thing that we’ve ever known. Our mommas told us- let go of jealousy. And for vagabonds and vagrants, that won’t come so easy. We’ve come from nothing.

I traveled halfway across the country and back only to find love undefined and I’m OK with that cause I’m gonna be a guardian, be a man among men.

Be my friend. Teach me to love you in a different way. Same cuts, same guts, same crazy. It’ll wash away, it will wash away- lift them up.”

This song speaks for itself. Nahko Bear is truly spreading medicine throughout humanity. Giving us hope and walking with us in our quest for ascending beyond our limitations.

“Muddy water is…

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.”
Alan Wilson Watts

With struggle, our minds work over time. We search for solutions or drown in our emotions and abuse our imagination with negative outcomes or tantalizing thoughts. Nothing seems adequate. The struggle is still there. Action tends to build up more and more difficulties when we take it and ignore the situation at hand. What are we to do? One could go mad. These are the muddy waters we wade through. The more we kick the more the dirt is spread around us, covering every inch of our body, getting in our hair and mouth. If we kick too long, we can exhaust ourselves and drown. The mud and water filling our lungs. We must crawl out. We must get out of the muddy water and we must observe. If we remove ourselves from the struggle, and we observe it, and we wait- eventually the mud will settle to the bottom and the water will become clear. The solution will make itself known. Our patience and careful intimate study of the very water we were fighting in is what brought about the answers. Not trying to force our way into action or solutions. So with difficulty, leave it alone. Meditate on it. Observe it. Act when the answer is clear.

Death & unity

Death is a troubling subject for most. It signifies an end. It signifies a complete end, with no more hope in sight. Death is permanent. It can be scary. It can be utterly sad.

These are things we are all aware of, but in my own mind, I see things a little differently. Death, is an end, but it is also a beginning. It brings about change. Death is the ultimate change. It can be troubling, but it is also intriguing. Completion for the ego of the being involved can be sad. But I see hope in sight. I see permanence through memories and I see permanence of the soul. The thought of losing our ego or our individual self can be scary. But that permanence in the collective unconscious is still there, and though we see our ego as important, it is not going to last forever, nor should it. It’s just like everything else in life- it is created, it molds itself and lives, and then it dies. But that soul behind the ego, that divine life embodied inside of it, goes on. It is brought back to the source and then shifted towards another life, whether on this planet or another. The energy that soul embodies will always be connected with the other energies it touched. Though temporary, always together. The great contradiction that hides behind all truths.

The ego cries out in misery over the death of a loved one. The soul cries out in joy for its new journey and new beginning- for their birth. We cannot completely separate from our ego while embodying this physical form. That is not the point. The point is to enjoy our individuality, and enjoy the great variety of life, and realize that we’re all connected despite how different we may be. We are not an island. We are all, meshed together, a universe. Life. Light manifested in the great abyss. We are beautiful. One day everyone will realize how perfect we truly are. And that we can manifest our own paradise together. We are all divine.