Musing from a Scorpio with Venus in Sagittarius

My insides are inconsistent. They create essences and destroy feelings and operate in covert ways to elude the ego and flow through life in a steady wave. It pours out passions through my pores and sinks my skin into yours, no survivors from the suffocation, death in the slow choking and dissolving of boundaries — new birth in our bodies as one. It’s like the level of awareness we were on before rises toward the heavens in exaltation. We can see what we were missing before. Awake the new level of life you’ve immediately set for yourself. Nothing less would suffice. Nothing less would make you happy. Sometimes, though. Sometimes it sways the tides and ropes them in to push them in on themselves, just to bubble up to poisonous skies, wet ambitions, halted dreams. Nightmares swarm and they grab me by the neck and shake me till I wake in sweat needing to numb my hands with writing before I go insane. When I want to be alone it can last days. Days that I cherish and need in order to feel rejuvenated and alive. I contemplate, I write, and I love everything but I’m so embedded in the universal unconscious that my sways are necessary alignments. The stars are driving me every day towards death and rebirth, on all different levels. I’m a walking prism of the universe, examining itself. Expanding itself. How can I possibly commit to anything? I feel I am being selfish with you, and you, and you. With everyone! My inconsistency hurts so many and that hurts me, too. Eudaimonia. Love me freely. Accept my confusion and misdirection. Be my fantasy and shake me up a bit, transfer your life force into my being, make your mark and live in my heart forever. Draw on the inside pictures of our love. Let me keep them forever. Let me keep you forever. Forever is in a moment.

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